Village idiot buys house near town pub.

There’s been a whole lot of hoo-har caused by a local resident who moved into Widdlehole and is unhappy that the local pub occasionally has live music and people go there to drink alcohol.

Mr Paddy O’Really moved into the town a couple of years ago from Riddlecombe in Devon where he was their village idiot for over twelve years. Since moving to Widdlehole he’s simply become known as “the racist homophobe who lives in town.”

Mr O’Really has filed a complaint with North Devon district councils licensing department asking for a review of the license granted to the owners of the Duke of York pub.


O’Really claims that:

  1. When they have live music the sound levels reaching his house have been measured at that of a man speaking loudly.
  2. People go in there to drink and sometimes get tipsy and make a little noise when they leave even though the pub closes strictly on time.
  3. Although this is a town known for the arts, any art that makes a sound of above a whisper are not suitable.
  4. Although none of the other residents are bothered, it bothers him and it must be infringing on his human rights.
  5. The pub is near his house and even though it has been there for hundreds of years, it was quieter when it was closed due to covid.
  6. They let gay and coloured folk in and put up a pride flag.
  7. Something about immigrants.

O’Really is asking for a review of the license and managed to get one of his friends from the local chapter of Combat 18 to sign his complaint and trigger a consultation.

In the meantime residents of the town have been emailing the council and telling them how ridiculous this complaint is.

They’ve also set up a fund raiser to be able to supply Mr O’Really with a years supply of ear plugs and a card with “F**k off you miserable c**t” on it.