Local residents now panic buying rolls of tin foil.

fucking idiots

Local department store Bindles didn’t receive their normal delivery of baking foil this week prompting them to have a couple of empty spaces on the shelves and a “Sorry out of stock” notice.

Unfortunately this coincided with the weekly meeting of Conspiracy Theorists Anonymous (CTA) which is held on every Tuesday in St Judas (not Iscariot) hall on Pieces of Silver Street.fucking idiots

Head of the kitchen supplies department, Miss Trie Baker made the mistake of telling customers it was only temporary and not to panic, which sent residents into a frenzy.

One of the members of the CTA posted on social media about the alleged shortage and within 2 hours all stores within a 20 mile radius had completely sold out of tin foil.

Fights broke out in store at Bindles as their entire stock of foil was stripped from the shelves. At one point Bindles had to implement a ‘strictly one roll per customer’ policy, but to keep things fair priority was given to key workers, council members, the police, and anyone who knows Harry the Gypsy.

We asked the near-by Tesco store if they had been affected and they told us “Every little helps!”

Christmas ruined?

Local councillor, Major Albert Shitztorm has spoken out against the panic buyers calling them “A bunch of selfish little shitbags who have possibly ruined this weeks Sunday lunch.”

Have you been affected by Devons tin foil shortage? Let us know in the comments.