Idiots cause shortage of fuel in Devon.

Despite the Mayor announcing that there is no fuel shortage in Devon, there is now a fuel shortage.

Both the nearby supermarket and local independent fuel station, McFillins on Westchester Road have now sold out of fuel because everyone took the assurance of there not being a shortage as a sign there was one.

We asked the manager of McFillins when they will next have fuel and they said “Soon hopefully, but you know how it goes and all that don’t you?”

We certainly do, and we can see why they made you manager!

We also asked the supermarket petrol station for a comment and they simply said “Every little helps!”

There is now panic among some locals who didn’t spend their whole weekend queuing for fuel.

Mrs Natalie Genitals of Elmore Road said “I am scared to go out, I only have half a tank of fuel and if I use it and can’t get any more then I will run out and stranded in the middle of nowhere and then a tall dark man might find me and take advantage of me and we end up having wild sex in the back of the car and I end up pregnant, all because selfish people bought all the petrol.”

We will keep you posted on other false shortages so you know what else to panic buy.